Technology
by Xx.White.Stripes.xX
Summary: The day finally came when Aizen upgraded his technology. He may have the greatest spiritual pressure ever, but, let’s face it, he is really old fashion.
1. Grimmjow, you've lost your mind

**Author's Note- I would like you to know that I wrote this in one sitting, so please notify me of any mistakes. I know there are!**

**My Inspiration-I have no idea how this came to me. I was just thinking how funny it would be if the Espada had cell phones. And then all the rest of it came from experience! **

**Disclaimer- I, sadly, do not own Bleach or any of the fabulous characters...I miraculously concluded after I found out that A) I am really poor and live in a single wide trailer and if I owned Bleach I would be rich! B) I can only say hello, goodbye, and thank you in Japanese! **

**Rating- I rated this T to be safe. There will most likely be some very strong language. Although not in this particular chapter.**

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The day finally came when Aizen upgraded his technology. He may have the greatest spiritual pressure ever, but, let's face it, he is **really** old fashion.

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"My dear Espada, it has come to my knowledge that we have all become technology impaired." Aizen paused momentarily to glance at Gin who is smiling like a mad man, but that happened to be normal, "I am going to upgrade our ways. I will introduce different items commonly found in the real world. First, we will start with something simple, a cell phone. And I hope it will improve our communication. Everyone in this room will get one. I want **everyone** to participate in my little experiment. Are we clear?" He added his spiritual pressure to the question, and everyone agreed. "Good, now, we'll show you the basics,"

Gin handed out the phones and the chargers. They all had a full keyboard, but they varied in size. Some were like clams, some flipped open, and others slid open. They had all been customized: black base and a gothic number depending on rank. The color of the number was determined from the color of the owner's spiritual pressure.

The next half an hour was made up entirely of directions taken from the owner's manual, what not to do; and the lecture of don't break them and be careful.

After the meeting, Ulquiorra went to his room, grateful that his lord had not assigned him any duties for the rest of the day. He had received a narrow, black phone with a green, gothic four that slid open. He did not see why his lord deemed this sort of luxury necessary, but, nevertheless, it was still an order.

So, he was now lying on his bed exploring all the different abilities of this particular cellular phone. For human made, it was very advanced.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when it began to vibrate. He read the message in the box:

Text from KillerInstint

View now or later?

He probably should at least read it. He selected 'View Now'

KillerInstint- Whatcha doin Ulqui?

KillerInstint? Who was that? There were very few Espada he knew that would go by 'KillerInstint' and have the nerve to call him 'Ulqui." He despised that nickname.

Batman- Sexta?

KillerInstint- YES!!!

Batman- Nothing in particular. What are you doing?

KillerInstint- Watching spoon head & pink freak make out. God that is all they ever do! It can be so disgusting!

Batman- If you don't like it why don't you leave the room?

KillerInstint- I'm taking notes

Batman- …I don't want to know

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**I will hopefully continue this little story, but your reviews will inspire me!**

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	2. Wake Up Stark

**Author's Note- I am really surprised that all this inspiration is coming to me! Normally it comes really, really, REALLY SLOW! I'm proud of myself!**

**Inspiration-I have no idea...**

**Disclaimer- I do not own Bleach. Tite Kubo does. I wish I did though, does that count?**

**Rating- Teen for safety. There will be swearing in this one. **

**Extra Note- There will be other little drabbles than GrimUlqui, although they are my favorite...**

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The day finally came when Aizen upgraded his technology. He may have the greatest spiritual pressure ever, but, let's face it, he is **really** old fashion.

* * *

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

"Lilinette!" I yelled through the pillow I happened to use to cover my head. Good Gods, why couldn't she just let me sleep in peace? But noooo, she had to put alarm on that damned call phone Aizen gave me. Annoying the shit of me from a distance, that was cold. Really cold. If only Lord Aizen would let me Cero the damn thing.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

"What the hell do you want, lazy ass!" Lilinette yelled from the other room.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

She set an alarm on that phone of mine, put a lock on it, and had the nerve to ask WHAT!? Why did I have to get her? Why couldn't I get a Zanpakuto like everyone else?

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

"Get in here and turn off that damn alarm!" I yelled again. Now that I think about it, all that beeping as a rhythm to it.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

"I would like to see you fucking make me!" she yelled back. Her voice was still in the next room, but it was becoming more distant. Now that I get used to it, all that beeping was beginning to lull me back to sleep.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Lilinette became suspicious when all she could hear was Stark's slow breathing and the alarm she had set while he was asleep. An evil, but simple trick to play on the unsuspecting Espada. She decided that, knowing him, he may have fallen asleep again, to make sure he did not she yelled, "Stark! You had better not fall asleep or I am going to pound you into the mattress!"

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Stark sighed, he was just about to fall back asleep. Damn. I guess there is only one other option. He reached for the still beeping phone and went to make a text.

It was only about a half an hour after the Grimmjow incident, and Ulquiorra had just about mastered the cellular phone. He had messed around with the camera and recorder. Gone through all the ring tones and played all the games. He was fairly good at the game called Klondike, but he would much rather play solitaire. And everything else this stupid phone had to offer. It was becoming rather amusing, to say the least.

His phone vibrated, and he automatically pressed 'View Now' without even reading it.

Lazy Ass- Hey Ulquiorra, can I crash with you? Lilinette won't let me sleep.

Hm…well, that was a stupid question. Stark always came to me when Lilinette would not permit him to sleep. Why would he ask now?

Batman- I do not mind.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Batman! Hahahaha, that was hilarious! What was even funnier, it fit him so perfectly.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Well, it was a good thing Ulquiorra let him sleep on his couch. He may be the only Espada Lilinette did not like to be in the same room with that would let me sleep.

I tossed the damned beeping thing in the corner and slowly made my way out of the room. I almost laughed at Lilinette's bewildered expression, but thought better of it. No need for excessive violence.

The way to Ulquiorra's room was a very well used path. If I walked in my sleep, I could undoubtedly be able to walk there. To cut my time in half, I used Sonido.

Arriving at his door, I let myself in like family. He was lying on his bed in the corner; cell phone in hand. That was odd. He did not seem like the type of person to be into these kind of things.

"What did she do this time?" Ulquiorra asked with out even looking up from his phone.

"Little brat put a locked alarm on that damn phone and messed with all my settings," I said, laying down on the couch. It was a little unspoken agreement of ours. I told him why, he let me sleep. He would probably deny it when confronted with the topic, but Ulquiorra loved gossip.

"I see. Very well, you may stay," Ulquiorra answered, but his reply fell on deaf ears; Stark had already fallen asleep.

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**Please give me some ideas! It could be for the cell phones or another type of technology. If you don't like to put your ideas into reviews, PM me. If you are not a member and with to review/suggest an idea, just put in a random name and do it!**


	3. Not Yammy's Day

**Authoress Note- WOW~! I cannot believe all of you reviewed! And so many hits(almost 200!!!), and favorites, and, wow, you guys( and girls) blow my mind away!**

**Disclamer- No, I do not own Bleach, but I do own this crazy story thought of while running laps in P.E. to pass the time!**

**Since some of you(most of you) did not log in to review, I will designate this little segment for you! The rest of you can just skip if you want...**

**_May Flowers_- I was already going to do something with Nnoitora...but you encouraged me!**

**_bankruptbunnies- _Hmm, never thought of that... Sounds fun!**

**_Rrai_-Thank you!**

**_y-_Maybe, but it's reall hard to make these things long! I hope this is a little better...**

**_Sightlines-_That is genious! I will most likely use it!**

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Nnoitora smiled like a mad man.

I have a new Hobie: annoying the shit out of Yammy. I normally left the block head alone, considering he is just too thick to get any of my jokes and jibes. But this, this was much better.

I could see my target lazily fuming down the halls, his cell phone was the only thing on his mind. Prefect. I scrolled down to make a text. Quickly typed in a simple message; pressed send, and waited for the carnage.

**TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING!**

To say that Yammy was mad would be an understatement. A big understatement. He was furious. That damn stupid little thing was ruining his life.

Aizen threatened all of us into using it, but what good would a threat do if I really **cannot**use that damn thing. Everything was too damn small for me! Only difference is that this might just be the end of me if Aizen ever found out I was not using his stupid contraption. No, stupid **human** contraption.

The **thing **buzzed in his pocket. Oh, shit. Someone had been texting me for the past ten minutes. I fumbled for the damn thing and read what it said on the little screen:

Text Message

View Now or View Later

What the hell! Couldn't whoever it was who was sending me these messages figure out that the keys on the phone were just to damn small for me to even reply?

Guess there was only one other option...

**TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING!**

Nnoitora did not care at this point who saw him laughing his ass off just around the corner from Yammy. The look on his face! Ha, I just remembered the next best thing about this silly little phone. It has a camera. And if the look on his face was not a Kodak moment, I do not know what is.

"Hey, Spoonhead! What are you laughing at?" Grimmjow called from behind me.

"Yammy," I replied none so smoothly; still out of breath.

"What'd you do this time?" Grimmjow asked curiously; coming over.

"I sent him a text!" We both laughed, completely understanding the stupid, yet efficant, prank.

"Where did the lug go, anyway?" Grimmjow asked after the healthy round of laughter.

"He was right over there..." I just noticed he was not there anymore.

"Feels like he went to Ulquiorra's place,"

**TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! **

Ulquiorra had become quite accustomed to the sound of Starks slow, steady breathing, and the occational snore or shift in his room. Stark came over to my room to occupy my couch every other night/day, sometimes more. I found Stark's problems, or anyones for that matter, amusing. Not many people would think I would be interested in such petty matters, but when there is nothing else to do; hearing interesting things about other people beats nothing. It is not all that surprising that most would think that way, I am very good at disguising my motives.

This human technology that Aizen provided, had become most interresting. I had opened up a word document, and started to just write. I found that if I were to type several symbols in a particular order, they can look like different faces or expressions. This is much more entertaining than paper work.

There was a knock at the door. Judging from the brashness, boldness, and above all, spiritual pressure, my guest was Yammy.

Sighing, I got up from the warm, form fitting bed to answer the door. "What do you want, Yammy," I asked immediately.

"Oh, I was wondering if you could do me a favor," He asked.

"That depends,"

"Can you open and reply to a text message for me?" Yammy asked.

"Very well," I extended my hand toward him, waiting for the phone. He fumbled with it for several moments before handing it over.

"Here," I quickly scrolled to the New Text Message box and opened it. Hmm, so many texts, and all from one person. I opened each one. They were all little symbols and faces, and the latest one, a mouse :3)~. This was a simple enough problem to fix. I quickly typed in a message and sent it before handing it back to Yammy. "Well, what'd it say, Ulquiorra?"

"They were all trash Yammy, no need for you to consern yourself," I quickly and closed the door on him, not wanting to talk to him at the moment.

**TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING! TEXTING!**

"Dude, you just got powned by an Emo," Grimmjow said with awe as he leaned in to read the text.

Original Message- :3)~

Reply from Batman- I win...mouse

/,l  
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７  
l、 -ヽ  
じしf,)ノ

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	4. Gossip Buddies

**Authoresses Note-Okay, before you skip over my little note(I know you will), after(or before) you read this chapter, please visit my homepage to help out the SPCA to get more donations. It is completely _FREE_ and requires _NO _personal information to leave the security of your mind. There is more information on my homepage! Please help out the SPAC! They need your support!**

**Ahhh!!! Thank you guys SO MUCH! You rock my socks! Wait, that sounded weird...oh well, you still rock! Over 150 visitors! WOOT! **

**I would like to thank all my reviewers individually, but, sadly, I don't have the time or energy to do so...I'm kinda lazy. But a thank you goes out to any of you who reviewed, favorites, or alerted! You know who you are! XD**

**I actually took all of your ideas into mind, but I have to build up to them! This is a filler chapter, yes, but it is actually helping me with my plot( yes, there is a plot to this crazy fic.!)**

**I thought of this during P.E....again... I don't really have any inspiration.**

**Disclaimer- I, sadly, don't own Bleach. If I did, well, things might get a little whacked in Heco Mundo( If I spell that wrong...oh well)**

**Little side note-I am aware that Halibels name is really Haribel. I do not really like that name, so I changed it slightly. This is fanfiction, so I can get away with it!**

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Halibel, despite her quiet exterior, was quite talkative. It's just there was no one worthwhile to talk to. Maybe I got it from my fraccion? It did not matter one way or the other, I have a major problem on my hands, and there was literally no way I could stop it from happening. Worst thing to ever happen: my fraccion have gone cell phone crazy. That did not sound like a hard problem, but they are my friends. Not o mention the only ones I talk to. Aizen never said their fraccion couldn't use these strange devises.

I ducked behind a pillar, with my spiritual pressure hidden completely, as I heard my fraction approach. They were being quite load, but that was to be expected. Well, except for Sun-Sun, she was pretty quiet.

This was getting out of hand.

Hmm, where would my fraccion not go? Well, there was Stark and Barragan. That sucked, I wasn't in the mood for them. Sure, all Stark did was sleep, but if I was going to be hiding out there, I might as well have someone to talk to. Barragan was out of the question. Anyone else…wait, there is! Yes! Score the only Espada her fraccion despised.

HIDE-AND-SEEK! HIDE-AND-SEEK! HIDE-AND-SEEK! HIDE-AND-SEEK! HIDE-AND-SEEK! HIDE-AND-SEEK! HIDE-AND-SEEK!

Ulquiorra was having fun. Wait, what!? The king of all Emos and depressed people was actually having fun?! Who'd ah thunk it?

I was customizing the cellular phone Lord Aizen had bestowed us with. Changing and re-changing everything. The background, personal message, ring tones for each person, and anything else this fascinating contraption had to offer.

His phone buzzed to life as he received a new text message.

Halli – Hey, can i stay w/ u for a while?

Batman – Why?

Halli – Fraccion r after me.

Batman – Why?

Halli – cell phone…

Batman – I don't see any problem with that.

Halli – Thank You!! XD

Batman – You're welcome

I barely had time to sit up before she sonido-ed into my room. The slight breeze grazed my cheek, but nothing else was disturbed by her flawless speed. Her cell phone in hand, she gave me a quizzical look before she started typing something on her phone.

My phone buzzed; a new text.

Halli – whys stark here

She took a seat in an open chair. I walked over to the other open one next to her as I replied to her message.

Batman – Lilinette…again. Why are we texting when we are in the same room?

Halli – stark might eavesdrop…oh what did she do?

Batman – Stark's asleep, how would he eavesdrop on us? Oh, she messed with his phone. Put a locked alarm on it.

Halli – do u know if he really is? & cqtms!

Batman – well, no… and what is cqtms?

Halli – see~! & it means chuckling quietly to myself!

Batman – Oh. What were your fraccion doing, exactly?

Halli – they became addicted to the cell phone, & were hunting me down

Batman – That is unfortunate.

Halli – it is…

…

Halli - Do you think Tosen would text? he doesn't look like a texter

Batman - He doesn't. I guess we will see, it was Aizen's order anyway.

Halli- true

Batman - Neither does Zommari

Halli - Ya

...

Batman - Have you heard anything interesting lately?

Halli - some... apparently the Geezer is having a wee bit of trouble w/ his minions.

Batman - That is predictable

Halli - Fish Bowl is having trouble texting, its really funny! i was texting him earlier, & he couldnt make up his mind on anything! XD

Batman - I can only imagine. It must have been quite humorous.

Halli - oh, it was. u should have seen it! so funny :D

Halli - oh, zommari got stuch in a yoga pose! rofl! i have pics too!

Batman - Need to share. That must have been hilarious. How did you even get those?

Halli - ill give u a copy! i got them very carefully! ;D

Batman - cqtms

Halli - wow...you just used an acronym...

Batman - So?

Halli - U just don't seem like the type to do that

Batman - You were sayig?

Halli - right! i heard that pinkys hair turned black after one of his crazy experiments blew up on him...he claims it was his fraccion.

Batman - Typical

Halli - thats the truth

Halli - oh & pinky & spoony r a couple

Batman - So I've heard...

Halli – sooo, anything interesting happen to u

Batman – I helped Yammy text.

Halli – That was u!? u totally powned spoony! Im so jealous!

Batman – Thank you…?

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**Written in one shot! I am sooo~ proud of myself! It's a little short...but, at least I updated! ^-^**

**Well, it's the usual. Review Please...or Ideas...or BOTH!!! Flames not accepted. At All.**

**Next Chapter-Why Wasn't I Invited? Will have Grimmjow & Nnoitora & Yammy! Hopefully...**


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